44 replies to this topic

[duplu]

.... you may not get another chance.

At 2am on Monday my dad was woken by my mum fidgeting in bed, she was extremely hot to the touch. He told her to move over and thought nothing more of it. Then she started convulsing in bed so my dad called my younger brother to call an ambulance. She was rushed to A&E and quickly moved to the critical care unit of the QE Hospital, Woolwich.

My wife got home on Monday afternoon to find a message on our answer phone telling us that my mum was very poorly in hospital. She called me immediately and packed some bags for us and the children and we rushed back to London having recently moved to Milton Keynes.

We arrived at the hospital at about 8.30pm and were shown to my mum's bed. The sight we were presented with wasn't very nice, she was hooked up to several monitors and intravenous drips. We sat with her for a while holding her hand and were then directed to a waiting room where a doctor came to see us.

We were told that my mum had a stroke in the early hours of the morning and then suffered a massive bleed in her brain. The hospital had sent scans of her brain to King's hospital as my mum was young (only 62). King's had replied saying that her condition was in operable as the bleed was deep in her brain.

The doctor then told us that she had a set of initial tests by a consultant at 7pm and had been confirmed as brain stem dead. Her body was being kept alive by the respirators and drugs but her brain had already died. A second test would be performed shortly by a second consultant. The second test confirmed that she was in fact clinically dead.

I spoke to my dad and brothers and my mum had always requested that she wanted to be a donor in the event of her death. We agreed with the transplant team that she would donate her lungs, heart, kidney and liver.

The transplant was scheduled for 7pm yesterday and it was confirmed that her life support would be switched off after the transplant was finished. Just before 7pm we said our final goodbyes to our mum, tears were streaming from all of our eyes and then we just had to leave to make it as easy as possible for us.

The operation was finished at 2am and the transplant team phoned back the following morning to let us know that the organs had been used to save the lives of 3 adults and 2 children. They will let us know how the people progress but we will never know who they are.

My mum was young at only 62 and she has no previous history of bad health and was not on any medication. I need to hold it together to support my dad who is 65 and whose wife did everything for him, they had been married for 42 years. My 7 year old daughter has been incredibly brave and even held her nannys hand knowing she has passed away and for that I am so proud of her.

Rest in peace Patricia Ann.

Love George, Paul, Alan, Keith, Nisha, Priya and Arun.

[tara10825]

Wow that puts life in perspective ,so sorry to hear about your bad news hope your family are ok.

[Daza5056]

Sorry for your sad loss, I have never lost someone close so I won't say I know how you feel

What a brave decision you had to make to allow the organs to be used for transplants, but you can rest knowing that your loss meant that 5 other people could live on carrying part of your mother around with them...... so in theroy she lives on, just inside someone elses body.

[duplu]

What a brave decision you had to make to allow the organs to be used for transplants, but you can rest knowing that your loss meant that 5 other people could live on carrying part of your mother around with them...... so in theroy she lives on, just inside someone elses body.

My mum was always a generous person so it never surprised me when my dad told me her wishes. It was strange though that all of her sons (I have two brothers) immediately agreed, the transplant team needed full agreement to proceed.

[Dr DX]

really sorry to hear that buddy as you know im always here if you need a chat

[Daza5056]

My mum was always a generous person so it never surprised me when my dad told me her wishes. It was strange though that all of her sons (I have two brothers) immediately agreed, the transplant team needed full agreement to proceed.

I thought the law had changed now -- if you were registered as a donor then permission is no longer required from next of kin.

Mind you, if your mom was not registered then that was probably why.

[Gazeyre1966]

Sorry to hear about your loss Duplu. I've never suffered a close loss to date but came damn near last January when my Dad suffered a heart attack. 20 seconds was the difference the doctors reckoned.

It does put everything into perspective but I guess life goes on. I don't know you personally but from what I can gather from your posts and your strong beliefs which I read about on the forums, then you are a strong person.

I guess a lot of us don't think about things like this until we are too late...but everyone has to go through it.

My condolences to you and your family and hope you have many happy memories to remember her by.

[Wozza]

Sorry to hear about your loss Al, our thoughts go to you and your Family in this tragic time.

[jamesb99_1999]

I am sorry to hear about this mate - I tell my mom I love her once a week, and take her out at least once a week, she always did the best for us, it was just my dad who was a shit ---- Gonna be very hard when she goes...

[cashcards]

sorry to hear your bad news,but greatful for your mams generous wishes
a lot of my mams brothers and sisters have died young,my aunty only in january 54 years old,and this is no joke,my mum who is very spiritual and a church minister was awoken during the night by her mam and dad two brothers and two sisters who are all dead,or at least not of this earth
my mother obviously a bit shocked shouted get away,and her mother told her not to worry.during this every thing in her bedroom was moving ie pictures on the wall wardrobe doors.
any one else BELIEVE
take care duplu

[stanmarsh14]

Just reminds me of my dad when I lost him.... thoughts are with you bud, & remember what the msg shows next to your avatar..... NEVER SURRENDER!

[VampUK]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
I lost my Nan just under 2 years ago. Your Mum must of been a lovely woman to want to help others after she was gone.

[Toddyuk]

So sorry to hear of your loss, My thoughts are with you and your family.

Iam sure she would be proud of your strong hearts to fulfill her final wishes .

Godspeed.

[momojojo]

So sorry for your loss,
for which words cannot consoul
You are in mine and my familys thoughts and prayers.

[Daryl]

As mentioned on FF, my love and deepest sympathy to you and your family at this most difficult time for you.

I was away at my Mam and stepdad's five years ago, when I received news that my beloved Dad had died whilst I was away for the Christmas and New Year period. He died on New Year's Eve, and his 75th birthday would've been the next day - he just died on his chair suddenly. I like you Duplo, would just like to tell everyone if you love someone, let them know it - now - as one day you will never be able to tell them ever again - and that hurts.

Once again my sincere condolences to you and yours. God Bless and protect you all.

[ricocchet]

I dont post much here, but spam another well known forum under another nick but after reading that post and feeling soo sad, i feel i must, Duplu has been a good Host in the past

I can feel for you mate, i lost my mum at 38, YES I repeat 38, my age in just 5yrs time, of course theres things we all want to say or wish we had, but its just too late.

A long as your were there for them, and stuck by them, you have no guiilt to feel.
We all have the odd barney, but that just small fry.

They know at the end of the day if you were there for them from day to day.

Now on to the donation side i things, I will donate all of my parts when im gone someone can have the lot, if they will help someone to live when im dead, im all for it.

After all that what someone done with their kidney and it gave me my brother and mum 5/6 very happy years together.

[superbank]

Very sorry to hear about your sad loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[DaemonX]

My thoughts are also with you and you family Al, it really puts life into perspective. I hope all is well and you are all sticking together and supporting each other. We're all here for you if you need us