34 replies to this topic

[bri365]

Another thing that fecks me off big time is old people in those 3mph electric fecking scooters who drive on the pavement and weave so that you cannot pass them, and when you do they ram your ankle and give you a look like your something they've stepped in when you turn to complain. We have got one old godger around here who drives his on the road, wouldn't mind but he thinks the whites stripe down the middle is his personal lane, with cars parked each side you can't pass him. I did tell him once that if I come up behind him again and he plays the deaf old git and pretends not to hear me beeping him, he will end up under my wheels. Thing is if he one of these old farts hits your car when they go past, be it on the road or the pavement. they have no insurance so it's us that have to pay.
RE:- Goldenbollocks with Jasper Carrot. This programme could be cut down to around five minutes if you were to make this smug ba****d a, stop talking, b, just open all the balls at once and get on with it, c, if you get a killer ball you should be allowed one free shot at another contestant with a crossbow.

[cliffc]

People on the bus never have money out ready to pay almost like its a great shock that they have to pay at all.

Hi

Round our way that dont pay coz the only ones who get on the busses are the old folks who have bus passes, the rest of us have cars because the bus service is so shite if you want to actually get anywhere on time the only way to do it is in a car, and thay wonder why people wont leave there cars at home and get public transport.

Cliff

[fruitman69]

Has anyone ever watched that program Goldenballs on ITV.

Right..when it come to the bit where its Split or Steal and they have 2 balls in front of them.

It annoys the fook out of me when they open and look at one of them and then open the other one and look at it.

Duhhh..is it no pretty fookin obvious if the 1st one ye look at it Steal..whats the other one gonna be. ??

Thats actually cuz they have to its part of the rules! Just in case someone made a mistake and put 2 the same.

But i know what ya mean

[fruitman69]

TBH Gaz thats the best part of the show..just the look on thier faces..when they are like..i promise ill split..and they end up stealing.

Yeah by far the best bit

[xtinkerxbell]

Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?


When you're involved in an accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

People who are willing to get off their a*se to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

[hitthesix]

why do toasters have a setting that BURNS the bloody toast

when you get told bad news about someone passing away some stupi c* nt always says i'll put the kettle on and make a nice cup of tea
"yeah right " a cup of tea and i will feel great. tits

if you are walking along the road with your arm in a sling/plaster
some clown will ask you " what have you done to your arm"?
yeah well i broke it deliberatley so i could skive off work.

when you have an accident the rumours that start are unbeliavable
a few year ago i had an accident at work ( and had to get a finger amputated) anyhoo after getting out of hospital i decide to go into town
and this old dear comes up to me and says " oooh so they sewed your arms back on then son" ? wtf fkn news to me that mrs..

and of course the beggars/ junkies / whatever
there is always one that says " awright big man have you any spare cash as i need to get to hospital and don't have enough busfare.
SURE THING but hows about i punch your lights out and then call an ambulance, that way we both save our cash..

[PJ]

...People who ask "have you got any spare change" outside a shop, of course I've got spare change you prick, you've just seen me at the till giving the guy a fiver for my newspaper and you saw him give me change.

Yeh - here's my answer:-

Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?...

Because it is a lot easier and less time-consuming to check paint, than to count billions of stars...

[£6 In Tokens]

[quote]
[quote name='PJ']Yeh - here's my answer:-







[/quote]

Psml at that PJ

:devil:

[PJ]

Thought you might - check out all the other shirts they have, some are really quite naughty...

[Sunistra]

any change plz

[todd1970]

Here is a few to get you thinking..........

Are there any undiscovered colours.

What was the best thing before sliced bread.

When signmakers go on strike..how do they make thier point.

Is it possible to bore someone to death.

Is there another word for synonym.

If a deaf person goes to court..is it still called a hearing.

Who copyrighted the copyright symbol.

Why do round pizza's come in square boxes.

How much room do you need to swing a cat.

Why cant girls throw.

If god knows everything..is it possible for him to ask a question that even he couldnt answer.

What do NASA scientists say instead of "Its not rocket science you know"

If a synchronised swimmer drowns..do they all have to drown.

If a monkey farts..does it smell like banana's.

[£6 In Tokens]

[QUOTE]
[quote name='todd1970']
Is it possible to bore someone to death.

quote]
[/QUOTE]

You having a good go a trying Todd - Lol

:devil:

[£6 In Tokens]

[QUOTE]
[quote name='todd1970']

If god knows everything..is it possible for him to ask a question that even he couldnt answer.

quote]
[/QUOTE]

Ask him:

Why did you invent the colour pink
Why did you burn that bush on Mount Sinai (Vandalism)
And the ultimate question: Where can I buy Hit The Six roms from, and will I need to remortgage my house to get them

:devil:

[todd1970]

[quote name='£6 In Tokens'][quote]


You having a good go a trying Todd - Lol

:devil:[/quote]

[quote name='£6 In Tokens'][quote]


Ask him:

Why did you invent the colour pink
Why did you burn that bush on Mount Sinai (Vandalism)
And the ultimate question: Where can I buy Hit The Six roms from, and will I need to remortgage my house to get them

:devil:[/quote]


Only he knows where HTS ROMS are..but hes no telling.