But deep down I'm still devastated as believe it or not I have lost something too. I've lost a person who only existed to me at that time. A person who i thought was everything and even thought I might be with forever. Everything clicked with Dez and I miss what we had together. He was always there to talk to... Now I've got to get used to the fact that that person is not real and never was. I've got to accept what Dez has done and what he's still capable of doing to others.
Trouble is that this is all part of the deception, making you feel really comfortable and secure, but things can change very quickly. My current partner was with a guy that 5 days a week was the sweetest guy in the world, but come friday nights beat the living shit out of her until sunday afternoons, when he sobered up. She kicked him out , took him back amidst promises of never happening again etc..and the pattern repeated itself for four years until he attacked their 18mth old child during an episode. That was when she drew the line. When i asked her why she put up with it her answer was always because she thought she loved him and he kept saying he would change....
