24 replies to this topic

[Deano]

If you say you don't $&%#, you're a liar,
And a fool if you say that you do;
So the next time you see, Prince Charles on TV,
Remember he $&%#s himself too!

Like your poetry,lmfao;)

[PJ]

Not mine - look up 'Kevin Bloody Wilson'...


And one day me grandmother caught me,
$&%#ing meself in me room;
But to her surprise, I just closed me eyes,
And imagined her standing there nude!

[PJ]

IMPORTANT NOTE - NEVER MASTURBATE WITH YOUR HEADPHONES ON!

Imagine the scene - lying on your bed, with Kylie's 'Slow' playing full blast on your iPod, trousers and pants round your knees, $&%#ing away like a safari park chimp, only to find that while you had your eyes shut concentrating on the Spinning Around video, your mum had brought you in a cup of tea and a sandwich...

(Ricky Gervais)

Edited by PJ, 18 October 2008 - 11:01 PM.

[PJ]

Or how about this:-


You stay in a European hotel on the company account, having promised your workmates to record onto your mobile anything you watch on the porn channel - so you dutifully send three high-quality sessions, only to find out days later from YouTube that not only did you record the porn, but also a dressing-table-mirror-image of your good sensible self, cracking one off on the bed!

(Jonathan Ross)

Edited by PJ, 18 October 2008 - 10:59 PM.

[kriss]

I was always taught there are two kinds of bloke, #@#@#@#s and Lyers.

But to be honest I do not partake in that act. You see i was circumsised a few years ago and after that i cannot $&%#, don't miss it though i still get plenty off the wife.

what you on about im circumsised and still can $&%# ... ooppps. Lol