16 replies to this topic

[ady]

Sorry to see you are in a hard situation, but..............


Why post what is obviously very personal all over a forum especially a FME One?

[RB]

The CSA are barstards and really dont give a shit about the Absent partner, they just see it as a saving on her income support, as any money paid by you is deducted from her benefit...tell her if she wanted more money it would have been better to tell the csa she wanted nothing from you and then she would get what you pay her as a bonus on top of her benefit....the only time it pays to grass her up is if you have other children with a new partner as you can get a discount on what you pay her offset against maintaining your new family...a mate of mine was crippled by CSA as they where garnishing his wages for 3 kids, and his ex wanted even more...so he jacked his job in and signed on...she gets £15 a week off his benefit now......she shouldn't have got greedy.

[Bencrest]

I'm glad I don't have kids.

OK, that's probably harsh. One day a little Bencrest would be pretty cool. But children seem to be used as tools these days - the 'system' in this country seems to favour lone / young parents and failed marriages. It's almost a stupid move to stay married these days. I've lost count of how many young people have basically ended up with children before they are ready, because it seems to be a good way of getting money / a house, an easier option than settling down and working.

I feel sympathy for your situation though, if that's any good.

[fruitsnappa]

Oh yes they are BASTARDS!!!!!!! Tell me about it.

By the way this is for ONE child(my daughter), and my son lives with me. Don't get a penny for him from her. And that's per month.

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[todd1970]

But children seem to be used as tools these days

Very true Ben..ye only have to watch an episode of Jezza to see that for yerself.

Its happened with my brother as well..all it is,is a way of 'getting back at you' and hurting you where it hurts most.

We've had a chat about this a few times on MSN..dunno what the best advice would be..but id certainly be going back to my solicitor and telling him everything thats going on.

[cardie]

Because I don't have anyone else to talk to about it ady, all my friends have families now and I don't talk to them. I just need to get it off my chest as its all getting me down.

Feel free to delete if you feel it's not appropriate.

its in the anytopic section i wouldnt see any reason why it should be deleted

[nobby.arny]

This wont help now, but in future pay by check or a standing order.

[fruitsnappa]

Jesus - that is over 150k from birth to 16 years old - I thought it was only £66k to bring a child up for that period of time. I often say that they are your kids, so why shouldn't you pay to bring 'em up, but that seems a right rip off to me.

Glad me and the missus never had 'em.

bj

I'm just paying back to the system for those who don't pay anything. It can't possibly cost nearly £200 per week to feed/clothe my 13 year old? I know cause her 16 year old brother lives with me and it comes nowhere near that figure.

Also bear in mind my daughter also comes to stay with me every weekend Friday till Sunday.

It's criminal but nothing i can do. I've tried solicitors but no one want's to know. What solicitor is going to take on the government?

[saynowt]

csa are really bad ive got 3 kids living with me two are mine one i brought up from a year old ive gotta pay 100 quid a month to my other daughter not living with me as well as having to pay for the one not mine this went on for years the father only paid 5.50 a week for a long time until we kicked ut about it he was giving atatchment of earnings and was getting 6-700 a week he pays a lot more now heh heh

[dacjgriffin]

Sorry I dont post on this forum much but you hit something there robinhood thats close to my chest too. so here was my situation.

had a son in 1999 and split with mother shortly after.

tried speaken to themto clear get it sorted quick but they wouldn't listen to me as she didnt make a claim.

2 years later they got hold of me and asked for £9000 by end of the week, but then settled for £63 a month and paid it ever since.

but here is the best bit........

got a call from social services and cut a long story short my 9 yearold son was sent to live with me.

3 months later got a letter just like yours from the w***ers stating that I owed them £3000 and I was allowed to pay this off weekly at £145 a week.

so in fact it costs me an extra £80 for my son to live with me!!!!

shows how retarded they are.

[ady]

its in the anytopic section i wouldnt see any reason why it should be deleted

Come in Alth.........

For pity sake Cardie, stop being a 'stepping stone' will you!

Are you not the No1 voice of Alth pmfsl.....use a voice of your own please!

Too often we are accused of being so far off topic (and yes you have said it on here and other places), a Moderator makes a simple reply and you open your ears to Alth.......that is so so sad

So where is that 'line' Cardie..........in your own words?

I stick with my original reply, though I feel for rob...................but I come here to forget my real life woes (we all have them) and to just have a bit of fun.

And why do I mention Alth again?..........its because he has a pathetic grudge at not calming down that goes on an on.........just why does he log in or view the site and passes little gripes is beyond me!

Edited by ady, 08 August 2009 - 09:13 PM.
Added the connection.

[billnye7]

your daughter lives with your mother, your son lives with you, 2 choices here, take your ex for everything shes got too, as she should be paying you for maintanence, or tell the CSA, who should make her pay, or should stop you paying (im not too sure tbh with you) and as long as your ex has no access whatsoever to her, and your, son. and see who gives in first. you would have the upper hand if you can prove that your ex began all the hassle, with help from the CSA

[Zoltar]

Just woke up to a letter.........


Dear Mr Smith

WARNING OF LEGAL ACTION

You have child maintenance debt of £339 for Sid Smith born 01/02/03

You need to pay what you owe NOW or face legal action or will take action to take it direct from your wages.

We may also call on bailiffs, sheriff officers or enforcement officers to seize you property and sell it.

WTF I have been paying the money direct to my ex, we had an arrangement that when I started work I would pay her £25 a week.

I have no idea why they have sent me this letter and why I have the debt of £339

I have just phoned them and they said that they have had a letter from my ex partner but would not say what it was about. I have not seen my son in three weeks and my ex is not doing as was ordered by the court so i have taken her back to court so this could be the reason why, but why should she lie.

I went to the CSA 3 years ago to stop her trying to get more and more money out of me and it was the worst thing ever. They calculated my payments to be £36 a week which I payed. Then 9 months later I get a letter to say sorry we had made an error and the correct amount you should be paying is £67 a week. so that's £31 a week more than i was paying. So I then get another letter the next day saying I owe £1200 and it had to be payed rite away. I said i cant do that so they started to take £102 a week from my wages which crippled me for weeks.

So as you can see i don't want to deal with the CSA but what choice do I have as it looks like the ex has decided to be nasty and say i have not payed.

I don't know what to do as I don't want to involve the csa if possible but the guy on the phone said that they WILL be dealing with it and that I have no choice. I just don't think with all the crap that's going on with me not seeing my son that I can cope with the stress that they will put on me to try and get back what I have payed, I know that I should of asked for receipts too but as we was getting on so well I didn't want to make it difficult by asking her.

Just to add I wonder if the income support people know that's she is not at the same address and is with a guy that's loaded. I know she is still on benefits.

1. You say you were paying your ex £25 a week. How did you pay this? Is there a record? bank transfer, cheque? Even a regular fixed payment taken from your account in most cases will be accepted. So if every Friday, you have a record on your statement that you withdrew £25 from your account, that pretty much stretches back to when the arrangement was agreed, you can use that to say you were/are paying for this child. This becomes a situation for the CSA as it's possible proof that you have indeed been paying, so benefits your argument. Secondly, it suggests that your ex has been receiving payments that haven't been disclosed to the Benefits Agency and CSA. Either way, the CSA are obliged to check it out.

2. You say that she is not at the correct address, and with a guy. I'm presuming she's claiming for Single Parents Benefit whilst having this chap stay with her. Wether you can use such information against her in order for this situation to ease, I've no idea, as Single Parent Benefits allow someone to stay over for so many nights in a week (3 I think). But if she's at the wrong address, and definately if she's claiming when she's with someone who is actively her permanent partner, then she is breaking the law.