A year ago, I was with my long term partner Sally. Had been with her for over 8 years and although there was a 15 year age difference (Sally was 18 when we first met, I was 33), it didn't cause us any problems apart from the odd look from people when we were out holding hands for example. To be fair, i didn't even comtemplate the possibility of us ever seperating but in June this year, we did just that. Sally had got a new job a year prior, and worked some very strange hours. When I was coming home from work, she'd be leaving. And the job she did, meant travelling all over the place. The further she had to travel, of course, the earlier she left for work. Coupled with a week away here and a fortnight away there, sometimes, I didn't see her for 2 weeks. And when she did come home, she'd be sleeping and recovering, and before I knew it, she'd be off to work again.
I talked with her about my concerns but part of me was satisfied with the job she did as she worked directly under her dad. So at least I knew she was safe. Obviously whilst at work and staying over, she'd socialise with other colleagues who came from all over the north east. So she made new friends, learned new interests ect... but inevitably, we grew apart and this culminated in an amicable seperation in June. As much as I tried to reverse this, I had to agree that Sally was right in that we grew apart. There was no one else involved in this. Infact, when we did officially split, and I told Sally I was moving out, she was pretty shocked. She didn't think that I'd leave our house and told me that she didn't want me to go. But at the end of the day, if we are not together, then we need to live apart. She couldn't grasp that.
I've never really had emotions like bitterness and jealousy running through my mind but these were there and it was quite frightening. I was thinking up all sorts of nasty stuff to do. Luckily, my own strength kept me from carrying any of that out. Which was quite a feat during what was indeed a very sad time for me. I guess i still love Sally in a certain way but more as a dear friend, and would never think about causing her any grief. The thing now, is that although we vowed to remain friends, I'm having trouble contemplating that. I see us soon, breaking the remaining bond we have. And I feel that this is probably for the best.
Sooo, my summer..... July and August
How embarassing eh? I moved back to my mums. She's waiting over me 24/7. Tea ready when I get home, bedroom cleaned and made daily, washing done, as pleasant as it may sound, it's a little too much for me as I like my independence. Through July and August, I expected to cave in and lose it. Yeah I was sad but no depression as i wouldn't let it get to me. I got my stuff in order and decided it was time to get into shape. I lost 4 stone in weight by getting myself into shape. Ready to go back on the 'singles' market lol. I've thrown literally every item of clothing into the ASDA skip, with the exception of my South Park t-shirts which I still kept and my Levi's as they went for good money on eBay lol. Can you believe that I have actually gone down 1 shoe size. I must have had fat feet lol. So I've spent a fortune on new clothes, and I'm still losing weight at the rate of around a pound per day. And all i've done is chuck the pies, pasties, bread and pizzas. So theres a tip for you guys to lose some weight fast lol....
September and October
After noticing a clear change in the way I was being treat by girls on nights out, I was now getting smiles off women, they were actively talking to me and starting the conversations and I was getting my arse felt. Which was an enormous confidence boost considering I'm 41 and alledgedly past it. But I didn't fancy trying my hand at finding a new girlfriend in a bar. But me being a bloke, I needed some female companionship and dare I say female intimacy. Actually, I was so desperate for my leg over, I'd have probably penetrated a pensioner with a zimmer.... So I did a bit of browsing on the internet and had a butchers at those dating sites, that only months previous, I thought were a waste of time and money. I had a look at www.Smooch.com which was free and found that place was full of lawyers and teachers. Got chatted up a few times but most girls seemed like high maintenance. I joined up www.benaughty.com and was there for over 2 weeks before I realised it was a 'swingers' site lol. (Stanmarsh, drop us a mail and I'll give you my log-in lol). I also joined Match and Match Affinity and decided to take out 6 month subscriptions on all the last 3. With my new physique, I was getting stacks of hits, loads of mails, and I certainly had the pick of anyone over 60 lol. Joking aside, I did a bit of background checking before joined these places and I read that it's best to try it on with as many women as possible. So I got a couple of dates arranged and things looked good. Ironically, I saw a girl i fancied on the swingers site and sent her a mail as she looked at my profile a fair few times.... Turns out she was as daft as me and signed up thinking BeNaughty was a genuine straight forward date site. And she lived locally....
Kerry.....
My cheeky mails worked. She was up for a date. I went out to have nothing but a good time. to enjoy myself and be myself. Can you believe that at 41, this was my first ever date. And bear in mind that the last 2 long term relationships I had, my ex-wife and Sally, both girls were not ones I seeked out and picked to be with. Me and Sally being work colleagues that got close, me and my ex-wife thrown together because my drinking buddy mate at that time, got off with my ex-wife's sister. Kerry was a girl I had actively seeked out and chosen. And she's 37, and very pretty too. So all to play for.....
The date..... As the days prior to the date passed, I got more and more nervous. But when the day, or night came, I thought to myself that she, Kerry must have been going through the same thing as me. So i decided to forget about nerves and just be myself..... And the date went by fantastically. We met again the following day and have had about a dozen dates since and one or two stop overs at hers. Tomorrow will be exactly 4 weeks together and things are still going great. And there was me 3 months ago pretty much confined to the fact that I was single, probably past it, and destined to move on as an old lonely fart lol.
I've no idea really why I've written this long winded post. Maybe it's the closing of a chapter in my life. or the opening of a new one. Maybe to show others that even when you find yourself stuck at the bottom of a seemingly depressing rutt, it's only a matter of time before the corner is turned and things move on again.... I think I needed to share this as I have a fair few friends here who I tend not to talk with as much as I should. For me, my adventure with Sally has ended. But a brand new adventure with Kerry has just begun.
Those of you on Facebook who are friends with me already know what she looks like.... But heres a pic for those who don't. This pic was literally an hour before I met her for the first time......
Who knows, with my new frame of mind, I may be back on the tools making layouts again ......
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