2120 replies to this topic
#621
chris2304
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Posted 15 June 2008 - 11:09 AM
3 sisters Ann,Jan & Fanny all hav big feet.Ann &jan go on a date. 1 of the boys says" god u have 2 av bigfeet."Ann replies," U should see our fanny's they'er huge!":bigeyes20:
#622
chris2304
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Banned
Posted 15 June 2008 - 11:25 AM
Xmas Time, Valium & Wine Children induling in petty crime Dads on the smack & mums out of her tree xmas is ace when u cum from barnsley! lol
#623
mgraham810733
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Posted 15 June 2008 - 11:28 AM
Whats the fastest thing in the fridge?....
Milk........ its past your eyes (pasteurised) before you know it
whats the fastest cake in the world.................................scone
Milk........ its past your eyes (pasteurised) before you know it
whats the fastest cake in the world.................................scone
#624
mgraham810733
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Posted 15 June 2008 - 11:37 AM
Supermans flying over a beach one day when he notices wonderwoman lying there naked with her legs wide open
when he thinks to himself im as fast as lightning faster than a speeding bullet i could fly down and bone her and be away before she knew it
so he drops his pants gets ready and speeds down does his business and flys away
wonderwoman says what the hell was that
the invisible man replies a dont know but my arse is sore
when he thinks to himself im as fast as lightning faster than a speeding bullet i could fly down and bone her and be away before she knew it
so he drops his pants gets ready and speeds down does his business and flys away
wonderwoman says what the hell was that
the invisible man replies a dont know but my arse is sore
#625
korax1214
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Posted 16 June 2008 - 01:36 AM
Q: How many Pink Floyd fans/members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.
A2: There's no lightbulb really, matter of fact, it's all dark.
A1: I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.
A2: There's no lightbulb really, matter of fact, it's all dark.
#626
PJ
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Posted 16 June 2008 - 12:57 PM
OI, I did that one on page 6!Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit...
Winning is not a crime...
NEITHER IS SWEARING!!!
NEITHER IS SWEARING!!!
#627
RB
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Posted 16 June 2008 - 03:23 PM
OI, I did that one on page 6!
I know but it made me giggle...
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
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#628
mazooma
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Posted 16 June 2008 - 06:33 PM
June 16
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Answers from college history exams:
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
Abraham Lincoln bacame America's greatest Precedent. He was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.
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Answers from college history exams:
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
Abraham Lincoln bacame America's greatest Precedent. He was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#629
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 17 June 2008 - 06:45 PM
June 17
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A man was picking through the turkeys at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for his family. He asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No, sir, they're dead."
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A man was picking through the turkeys at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for his family. He asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No, sir, they're dead."
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#630
mgraham810733
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Posted 17 June 2008 - 08:34 PM
Man walks into a pet shop and puts a bomb on the counter
"youve got 1 minute to get out" he shouts
"You bastard yells the tortoise in the corner"
"youve got 1 minute to get out" he shouts
"You bastard yells the tortoise in the corner"
#631
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 18 June 2008 - 05:23 PM
June 18
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A plane from White Knuckle Airways was about to take off when it returned to the terminal. After an hour's wait, it finally left. Annoyed, a passenger asked what caused the delay. "The pilot heard a strange noise in the cockpit," explained the attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot...."
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A plane from White Knuckle Airways was about to take off when it returned to the terminal. After an hour's wait, it finally left. Annoyed, a passenger asked what caused the delay. "The pilot heard a strange noise in the cockpit," explained the attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot...."
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#632
geegee-11
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Posted 18 June 2008 - 05:59 PM
husband says to wife my olympic condoms have arrived gonna try the gold 1st
no says the wife i want you to use silver.
husband replies why do you want me to wear silver?
wife says i want you to come second
no says the wife i want you to use silver.
husband replies why do you want me to wear silver?
wife says i want you to come second
#633
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 19 June 2008 - 05:50 PM
June 19
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Sign in New York ice-cream shop:
Seven days without ice-cream makes one weak.
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Sign in New York ice-cream shop:
Seven days without ice-cream makes one weak.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#634
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 20 June 2008 - 04:17 PM
June 20
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A software engineer had heard that God protects fools, and decided to test the statement. He ran to the second story window and threw himself out. Through the pain of his broken leg, the engineer smiled. "Wow! I never knew I was that clever!"
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A software engineer had heard that God protects fools, and decided to test the statement. He ran to the second story window and threw himself out. Through the pain of his broken leg, the engineer smiled. "Wow! I never knew I was that clever!"
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#635
RB
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PISH Artist
Posted 21 June 2008 - 03:51 PM
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
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#636
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 21 June 2008 - 04:06 PM
June 21 - Guid Nychburris
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A quicksand warning sign:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
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A quicksand warning sign:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#637
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 22 June 2008 - 04:52 PM
June 22
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Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He'd had his fill of other people.
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Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He'd had his fill of other people.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#638
RB
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PISH Artist
Posted 22 June 2008 - 05:21 PM
What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered host.
Buttered host.
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
#639
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 23 June 2008 - 06:32 PM
June 23
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A headline in the paper said:
"Peanut walked into a bar and was assaulted."
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A headline in the paper said:
"Peanut walked into a bar and was assaulted."
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#640
RB
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PISH Artist
Posted 23 June 2008 - 06:39 PM
A man walks into a bar - he sits down and orders a drink. The barman gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. "You look great tonight!" it said, "You really look fantastic... and that aftershave is just wonderful!"
The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You're a TOTAL JERK... And you STINK... Do you know, you're almost AS UGLY AS YOUR MOTHER!"
By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation. "Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."
The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You're a TOTAL JERK... And you STINK... Do you know, you're almost AS UGLY AS YOUR MOTHER!"
By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation. "Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
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