I got stung by nettles yesterday.
He charged me £50 for a Bergerac dvd.
2120 replies to this topic
#2101
raverpat
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Retired punter of 16 years
Posted 21 October 2020 - 01:05 PM
Let's smash Partytime.
#2102
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 11 November 2020 - 04:00 PM
If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly................. I have back issues.
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#2103
Simon Sevens
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Newbie
Posted 16 November 2020 - 11:48 AM
An old one but I like it.
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#2104
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 18 November 2020 - 09:27 PM
We were so poor when I was younger I once had a birthday party at the local launderette because it was bright and warm... The highlight was pass the Persil!
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#2105
ricardo de ponsa
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Man Of Science
Posted 19 November 2020 - 09:01 PM
We were so poor when I was younger, I thought knives and forks were jewellery.
I wanted an electric train set for Christmas. All I got was a platform ticket and a piece of fuse wire !!!
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Don't come round and steal my Cheerios !!!!
#2106
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 20 November 2020 - 10:52 AM
Got my new Smirnoff 'Oscar Pistorious' advent calendar today... There's a shot behind every door!
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#2107
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 23 November 2020 - 09:35 PM
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#2108
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 05 December 2020 - 12:09 PM
They've worked out why Santa has a red sack..................He keeps scratching it.
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#2109
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 11 December 2020 - 06:10 PM
I used to sit next to Noddy Holder at school. The teacher was always catching him eating snacks. One day she snapped and shouted, "What are you eating now?" Noddy replied, "IT'S CRISPS MISSSSSS!".............................I'll get me coat.
- dachshund likes this
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#2110
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 16 December 2020 - 08:27 PM
My partner was rushed into hospital this morning. As the trolley crashed through the ED doors, a doctor said: "BP is 127." "This isn't the time to be discussing petrol prices." I shouted.
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#2112
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 12 January 2021 - 10:42 PM
I’m not saying we were poor when I was young, but when we went to KFC we had to lick other peoples fingers!
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#2113
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 13 January 2021 - 03:23 PM
My mate once said, "The first car you drive is as memorable as your first kiss."
It's true. I still remember mine, an old banger with bits hanging off and an embarrassment to be seen with ...
For the life of me I can't remember what the car was though!
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#2114
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 14 January 2021 - 09:55 PM
I couldn't remember the name of the fizzy sweets I liked as a kid so I've signed up for a refreshers course.
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#2115
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 16 January 2021 - 12:53 PM
Stocks of the first vaccine for corona virus are running dangerously low. The Pfizer Chiefs say they predict a riot.
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Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#2117
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 25 January 2021 - 07:12 PM
"I hear you split up with your wife." "I did. Would you stay with someone who sat about in their bra and pants all day, drinking Gin and watching Loose Woman?" "I sure wouldn't." "Well, neither would she."
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#2118
stardust
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Daryl
Posted 04 February 2021 - 08:23 PM
A funeral undertaker tried chatting me up the other day...
I wasn't impressed - he only wanted me for my body!
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#2119
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 12 February 2021 - 02:28 PM
Got the Peek a Boo virus, currently in ICU
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#2120
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 14 February 2021 - 09:21 PM
Brilliant evening at Autopsy Club today............It was open Mike night.
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