April 19
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Sign at a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream.
2120 replies to this topic
#461
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 19 April 2008 - 06:42 PM
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#462
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 20 April 2008 - 09:03 AM
April 20
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Seen on a bumper sticker:
When everything is coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road.
Welcome to California. Now go home.
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Seen on a bumper sticker:
When everything is coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road.
Welcome to California. Now go home.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#463
todd1970
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The furniture
Posted 20 April 2008 - 10:55 AM
Sorry not a joke here but who would have thought a thread that RB created over 3 years ago would still be going strong to this day.
Pretty good achievement if ye ask me.
Pretty good achievement if ye ask me.
Mmmmmm...Sandy ive 'ad her ye know. 
#464
stu55554
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Qualified IT Technition
Posted 20 April 2008 - 01:19 PM
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
toddy likes to change signatures as he has nothing better to do..
#465
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 21 April 2008 - 07:19 PM
April 21
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A neighbour saw little Nancy filling in a hole in her yard. "What are you doing, honey?" he asked.
"My goldfish died," Nancy sniffed. "I'm burying him."
"That hole looks pretty big for a goldfish," said the neighbour.
"That's because he's inside your cat."
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A neighbour saw little Nancy filling in a hole in her yard. "What are you doing, honey?" he asked.
"My goldfish died," Nancy sniffed. "I'm burying him."
"That hole looks pretty big for a goldfish," said the neighbour.
"That's because he's inside your cat."
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#466
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 22 April 2008 - 05:29 PM
April 22
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As seen on a biker's vest :
"If you can read this, my wife fell off."
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As seen on a biker's vest :
"If you can read this, my wife fell off."
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#467
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 22 April 2008 - 05:31 PM
April 22 - As today's joke was actually funny, let's have another.
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I've got a friend called Sid. A while ago he was the victim of ID theft. He's just called S now......
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I've got a friend called Sid. A while ago he was the victim of ID theft. He's just called S now......
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#468
mazooma
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- Regulars
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- 915 posts
I'm not dead yet
Posted 23 April 2008 - 08:15 PM
April 23
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Sign in a Vienna hotel room:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hall porter.
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Sign in a Vienna hotel room:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hall porter.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#469
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 24 April 2008 - 08:30 PM
April 24
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More unreal estate phrases:
One-of-a-kind - ugly as sin.
Nothing quite like it is still standing.
You'll love it - no, on second thoughts, you won't.
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More unreal estate phrases:
One-of-a-kind - ugly as sin.
Nothing quite like it is still standing.
You'll love it - no, on second thoughts, you won't.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#470
todd1970
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The furniture
Posted 24 April 2008 - 08:44 PM
April 22
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As seen on a biker's vest :
"If you can read this, my wife fell off."
April 22 - As today's joke was actually funny, let's have another.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I've got a friend called Sid. A while ago he was the victim of ID theft. He's just called S now......
Need to look up the rule book on that one Mazooma..you may be in contravention of Rule 843 Act 4.
No more than one joke a day..you may have failed your mission.
Mmmmmm...Sandy ive 'ad her ye know.
#471
PJ
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Condom Testing Department
Posted 25 April 2008 - 03:54 PM
OI - I did that one on page 29 of this thread!April 21
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A neighbour saw little Nancy filling in a hole in her yard. "What are you doing, honey?" he asked.
"My goldfish died," Nancy sniffed. "I'm burying him."
"That hole looks pretty big for a goldfish," said the neighbour.
"That's because he's inside your cat."
Winning is not a crime...
NEITHER IS SWEARING!!!
NEITHER IS SWEARING!!!
#472
stu55554
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Qualified IT Technition
Posted 25 April 2008 - 03:59 PM
thats cheating mazooma!
toddy likes to change signatures as he has nothing better to do..
#473
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 25 April 2008 - 04:41 PM
April 25 - Sorry, I just copy them from a page-a-day calendar... Well most of them anyway.
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Old statisticians never die; they just get broken down by age and sex.
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Old statisticians never die; they just get broken down by age and sex.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#474
mazooma
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- Regulars
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- 915 posts
I'm not dead yet
Posted 26 April 2008 - 02:14 PM
April 26
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A woman at an exhibition was admiring a painting called Politicains at Work.
"This is such a wonderful example of realism," she said.
Her friend was confused. "But those people aren't doing anything!" he argued.
"Exactly!" replied the woman.
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A woman at an exhibition was admiring a painting called Politicains at Work.
"This is such a wonderful example of realism," she said.
Her friend was confused. "But those people aren't doing anything!" he argued.
"Exactly!" replied the woman.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#475
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 26 April 2008 - 11:17 PM
April 27 - early today
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A ventriloquist was on stage when a drunk stood up and heckled him. The performer started to respond, but the drunk cut him off, saying, "Stay out of this, mister, I'm talking to the little guy on your knee!"
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A ventriloquist was on stage when a drunk stood up and heckled him. The performer started to respond, but the drunk cut him off, saying, "Stay out of this, mister, I'm talking to the little guy on your knee!"
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#476
RB
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PISH Artist
Posted 28 April 2008 - 10:08 AM
Jesus...is this thread still going???
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It f*****g hurts doesn't it!"
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It f*****g hurts doesn't it!"
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
#477
todd1970
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The furniture
Posted 28 April 2008 - 10:11 AM
Sorry not a joke here but who would have thought a thread that RB created over 3 years ago would still be going strong to this day.
Pretty good achievement if ye ask me.
Yup...sure is RB
Mmmmmm...Sandy ive 'ad her ye know.
#478
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 28 April 2008 - 05:41 PM
April 28
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Seen on a bus in London:
When leaving this bus, please mind your step and lower your head. If you miss your step and hit your head, please mind your language and lower your voice.
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Seen on a bus in London:
When leaving this bus, please mind your step and lower your head. If you miss your step and hit your head, please mind your language and lower your voice.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#479
RB
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PISH Artist
Posted 29 April 2008 - 06:59 PM
I just bought a new state-of-the-art Sony car stereo!
When you shout out
"Soul", it plays soul music.
When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music.
Some kids ran in front of my car this morning and I shouted
"f*****g kids" and it played Michael Jackson.
When you shout out
"Soul", it plays soul music.
When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music.
Some kids ran in front of my car this morning and I shouted
"f*****g kids" and it played Michael Jackson.
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
#480
RB
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- Layout Creator
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PISH Artist
Posted 29 April 2008 - 07:04 PM
There was once a young man who, in his youth,
professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, 'I want to write
stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people
will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will
make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages
professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, 'I want to write
stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people
will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will
make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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