Of course....It will be known as the Bell End!!!!
2120 replies to this topic
#821
Gazeyre1966
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The furniture
Posted 14 September 2008 - 07:02 PM
Now that Manchester City are the richest club in the world they have decided to name part of the stadium after one of their finest 70's players, Colin Bell.
Of course....It will be known as the Bell End!!!!
Of course....It will be known as the Bell End!!!!
<span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'><span style='font-size: 12px;'>It's all done in the best possible taste. 
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#822
RB
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Posted 15 September 2008 - 09:24 AM
A drunk walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar, and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three tough-looking bikers sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, looks the biggest, meanest biker in the face, and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and always gets into fights at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get upset, but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans over one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point, the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa, go home, you're drunk!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and always gets into fights at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get upset, but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans over one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point, the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa, go home, you're drunk!"
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
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#823
mazooma
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Posted 15 September 2008 - 07:40 PM
September 15
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What were the gangster's final words?
"What's that violin doing in my violin case?"
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What were the gangster's final words?
"What's that violin doing in my violin case?"
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#824
Deano
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Posted 15 September 2008 - 07:58 PM
Ive seen your criminal records and you were charged with E.D.S(Excessive Dick Sucking)but the charges were dropped since you swallowed the evidence.
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#825
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 16 September 2008 - 06:12 PM
September 16 - UCL starts today - woo hoo
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What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
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What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#826
Deano
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Posted 16 September 2008 - 07:51 PM
Mr Cadbury met Mrs Rowntree in a room on Quality Street.It was After Eight.He turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic!He slipped his hand onto her Snickers and showed her his Curly Wurly.Not keen to have any Jelly Babies she let him have her up the Bourneville Boulevard.She screamed with Turkish Delight!As he took out his Fun sized Mars Bar it felt a bit Crunchie and she wanted some Time Out but he did a Twirl and came in a very Milky Way!
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#827
£6 In Tokens
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AKA £9 In Vouchers
Posted 16 September 2008 - 08:46 PM
Hello 
:devil:
:devil:
#828
Guest_robinhood75_*
Guest_robinhood75_*
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Posted 17 September 2008 - 12:27 AM
Deano888 said
Mr Cadbury met Mrs Rowntree in a room on Quality Street.It was After Eight.He turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic!He slipped his hand onto her Snickers and showed her his Curly Wurly.Not keen to have any Jelly Babies she let him have her up the Bourneville Boulevard.She screamed with Turkish Delight!As he took out his Fun sized Mars Bar it felt a bit Crunchie and she wanted some Time Out but he did a Twirl and came in a very Milky Way!
pmsl who would of thought chocolat could be so dirty.
#829
Deano
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Posted 17 September 2008 - 09:25 AM
2 paddys walking down a road when one of them finds a mirror.He picks it up and looks in it."God,I know that face",he says.Other paddy takes it off him and looks in it."Of course you do,you silly bastard,its me".
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#830
PJ
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Posted 17 September 2008 - 10:33 AM
Deano888 said
Paddys?... hmmmmmm...2 paddys...
robinhood75 said
Never mind chocolate, did you hear about the fight in the biscuit factory?...who would of thought chocolat could be so dirty.
A Bandit hit a Penguin round the head with a Club, then made a Breakaway in a Taxi...
Winning is not a crime...
NEITHER IS SWEARING!!!
NEITHER IS SWEARING!!!
#831
mazooma
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Posted 17 September 2008 - 06:16 PM
September 17
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Oxymorons:
Working vacation.
Plastic glasses.
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Oxymorons:
Working vacation.
Plastic glasses.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#832
RB
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Posted 18 September 2008 - 12:24 AM
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''
She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''
She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
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#833
mazooma
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Posted 18 September 2008 - 06:51 PM
September 18
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A statistician is someone who is great with numbers, but hasn't got the personality to be an accountant.
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A statistician is someone who is great with numbers, but hasn't got the personality to be an accountant.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#834
RB
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Posted 18 September 2008 - 08:19 PM
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer."
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
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#835
Deano
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Posted 18 September 2008 - 08:27 PM
Man lying in bed after sex with his Thai wife.She keeps stroking his cock.He says "Do you like it that much?".
She says "No,I just miss mine".
She says "No,I just miss mine".
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#836
mazooma
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Posted 19 September 2008 - 07:28 PM
September 19
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Two soldiers were sitting beside each other in the mess. "Hey," said the first, "could you pass the pecan pie?"
"Sorry," replied the second. "I'm not allowed to help another soldier to dessert."
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Two soldiers were sitting beside each other in the mess. "Hey," said the first, "could you pass the pecan pie?"
"Sorry," replied the second. "I'm not allowed to help another soldier to dessert."
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#837
ady
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The furniture
Posted 19 September 2008 - 08:28 PM
mazooma said
September 19
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Two soldiers were sitting beside each other in the mess. "Hey," said the first, "could you pass the pecan pie?"
"Sorry," replied the second. "I'm not allowed to help another soldier to dessert."
Groan lol...thats lame maz
#838
RB
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Posted 19 September 2008 - 10:08 PM
According to the U.K Census Board
9,347 people are having sex right now,
2,130 are kissing.
234 are getting a blowjob, and
1 lonely f***er is reading this.
You hang in there, Sunshine !!!
9,347 people are having sex right now,
2,130 are kissing.
234 are getting a blowjob, and
1 lonely f***er is reading this.
You hang in there, Sunshine !!!
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
#839
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 20 September 2008 - 08:19 PM
September 20
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A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When he was confronted by his boss he explained, "You can't park anywhere near this place!"
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A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When he was confronted by his boss he explained, "You can't park anywhere near this place!"
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#840
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 21 September 2008 - 03:17 PM
September 21
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How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
"You were supposed to change that lightbulb last week!"
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How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
"You were supposed to change that lightbulb last week!"
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
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