I'm addicted to helter-skelters.
I went to try it once, and after that it was just a downward spiral.
2120 replies to this topic
#1221
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 03 November 2010 - 07:59 PM
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1222
stanmarsh14
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Sado-masochist
Posted 13 December 2010 - 11:18 PM
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!" 
#1223
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 04 January 2011 - 05:10 PM
The secretary was leaving the office when she saw the CEO standing by a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this document is very important. Can you make this thing work?"
The secretary turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.
"Great," said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."
"Listen," said the CEO, "this document is very important. Can you make this thing work?"
The secretary turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.
"Great," said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."
Edited by mazooma, 04 January 2011 - 05:10 PM.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1224
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 04 January 2011 - 05:14 PM
How many angels can fit inside a Honda?
All of them.
For it is written:
"All of my angels shall sing my praises in one Accord."
All of them.
For it is written:
"All of my angels shall sing my praises in one Accord."
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1225
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 04 January 2011 - 05:37 PM
I bought a racing snail the other day.
It wasn't very good.
So I removed it's shell.
Now it's just a bit sluggish.
It wasn't very good.
So I removed it's shell.
Now it's just a bit sluggish.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1226
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 19 January 2011 - 07:31 PM
Pharmacist: May I help you, sir?
Customer: Yes.... I , uh..... well, this it sort of embarrissing, but I'm going out on a date tonight, and erm, you know, I need some ...
Pharmacist: You need some protection.
Customer: Right.
Pharmacist: Small, medium, or large?
Customer: Uhhh. Medium, I guess.
Pharmacist: Okay, That'll be $2.35 including tax.
Customer: Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves!
Customer: Yes.... I , uh..... well, this it sort of embarrissing, but I'm going out on a date tonight, and erm, you know, I need some ...
Pharmacist: You need some protection.
Customer: Right.
Pharmacist: Small, medium, or large?
Customer: Uhhh. Medium, I guess.
Pharmacist: Okay, That'll be $2.35 including tax.
Customer: Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves!
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1227
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 25 January 2011 - 08:19 PM
A blonde took her Jaguar to the garage because it was running a bit rough.
The mechanic looked under the hood and the said, "Just crap in the carburetor."
The blonde replies, "How often do I have to do that?"
The mechanic looked under the hood and the said, "Just crap in the carburetor."
The blonde replies, "How often do I have to do that?"
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1228
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 25 January 2011 - 08:39 PM
Sian Massey's new nickname is "Just for Men".
Use once and the Gray is gone.
Use once and the Gray is gone.
Edited by mazooma, 25 January 2011 - 08:40 PM.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1229
daddymac
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I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS
Posted 26 January 2011 - 08:16 PM
Heather Mills got a new leg for christmas from paul mc cartney...Its not her main present just a stocking filler.
ROY WALKER IS A CRAP TV HOST BUT HE MAKES FOOKIN LOVELY CRISPS.....what's that there mr.chips doing?
#1230
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 26 January 2011 - 09:42 PM
Nervous plane passenger: "How often do these planes crash?"
Stewardess: "Usually only the once, Sir!"
Stewardess: "Usually only the once, Sir!"
Edited by Daryl, 26 January 2011 - 09:42 PM.
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1231
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 27 January 2011 - 03:49 PM
I use to date a fantastic pretty Dutch girl who would always wear inflatable shoes. The relationship didn't last though as she popped her glogs.
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#1232
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 03 February 2011 - 07:35 PM
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Control freak. Now you say,
"Control freak who?"
Who's there?
Control freak. Now you say,
"Control freak who?"
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1233
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 12 February 2011 - 01:00 AM
I crashed into another car the other day and the other driver jumped out and he was a dwarf.
He said "I'm not happy."
I said "No, you're Grumpy aren't you!"
He said "I'm not happy."
I said "No, you're Grumpy aren't you!"
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1234
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 12 February 2011 - 03:35 PM
An Irish family have been found frozen to death outside Dublin Odeon Cinema.
They had been queuing for 3 weeks to see "Closed For The Winter!"
They had been queuing for 3 weeks to see "Closed For The Winter!"
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1235
mazooma
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- Regulars
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- 915 posts
I'm not dead yet
Posted 17 February 2011 - 07:01 PM
Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Nurse: Have you seen a doctor?
Patient: No, just spots.
Nurse: Have you seen a doctor?
Patient: No, just spots.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1236
Daryl
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- Inactive Users
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 23 February 2011 - 10:33 AM
Two eggs boiling in a pan.
One egg says to the other: 'I've got a huge crack!'
The other egg says: 'Stop f**king teasing, I'm not hard yet!'
One egg says to the other: 'I've got a huge crack!'
The other egg says: 'Stop f**king teasing, I'm not hard yet!'
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1237
jim2311
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Genius
Posted 23 February 2011 - 03:37 PM
Another two eggs boiling in a pan.
One egg says to the other "It's uncomfortably warm in here"
The other egg replies " You think this is bad, wait till they take you out...they crack your f***ing head open"
One egg says to the other "It's uncomfortably warm in here"
The other egg replies " You think this is bad, wait till they take you out...they crack your f***ing head open"
#1238
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 23 February 2011 - 05:29 PM
The barman says, "We don't serve time travellers in here."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
A time traveller walks into a bar.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
#1239
jay2
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Boing Boing
Posted 23 February 2011 - 06:31 PM
Was in the pub with the missus last night, i said i love you
She said is that you or the beer talking?
I said its me talking to the beer
She said is that you or the beer talking?
I said its me talking to the beer
What shall i put here?
#1240
mazooma
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I'm not dead yet
Posted 23 February 2011 - 08:16 PM
I longed for the pitter-patter of tiny feet, so I got a dog.
It's cheaper - and you get more feet.
It's cheaper - and you get more feet.
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
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