What's the best thing about Ipswich??? The A14.
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#1381
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Posted 08 November 2012 - 08:50 PM
raverpat.
What's the best thing about Ipswich??? The A14.
What's the best thing about Ipswich??? The A14.
#1382
cashbox1
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The furniture
Posted 08 November 2012 - 09:24 PM
2 nuns go into a greengrocers - "how much are the cucumbers?" the one asks the assistant.
"a pound for 3" she says,the nun then turns to her colleague and says "ah feck it,we can always eat the other one!!"
"a pound for 3" she says,the nun then turns to her colleague and says "ah feck it,we can always eat the other one!!"
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Einstein`s theory of FME 90 downloads = 3 thanks
#1383
jim2311
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Genius
Posted 09 November 2012 - 02:30 PM
3 women die in a car crash and on arriving at the Pearly Gates St Peter takes them to a holding area that is full of women, and the ground is covered in eggs. he inform them that they stay here before being moved on and "do not break any eggs"
After a couple of days one of the women stands on an egg and it shatters. St Peter appears instantly and has with him the most ugly man you can imagine. He is bald, no teeth, covered in boils, doubled in two with arthritis and smelling of piss. He tell her that she has to live with him as punishment for breaking an egg. Next day the second women also breaks an egg and again St Peter materialises with another disgusting example of a man that she must spend eternity with. A week passes when suddenly St Peter appears before the third women accompanied with an absolute stunner. He has long flowing blonde hair, blue eyes, rippling muscles... a Greek God if ever there was one. "Oh" she says excitedly "do I get him for being good" "No" says St Peter "He stood on an egg"
After a couple of days one of the women stands on an egg and it shatters. St Peter appears instantly and has with him the most ugly man you can imagine. He is bald, no teeth, covered in boils, doubled in two with arthritis and smelling of piss. He tell her that she has to live with him as punishment for breaking an egg. Next day the second women also breaks an egg and again St Peter materialises with another disgusting example of a man that she must spend eternity with. A week passes when suddenly St Peter appears before the third women accompanied with an absolute stunner. He has long flowing blonde hair, blue eyes, rippling muscles... a Greek God if ever there was one. "Oh" she says excitedly "do I get him for being good" "No" says St Peter "He stood on an egg"
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#1384
Daryl
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Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:38 PM
I like that one very much Jim mate
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
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Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
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Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1385
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Posted 13 November 2012 - 06:14 PM
Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Shit Ron, how long you been here? How did you talk your missus into letting you go ?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who ?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie. She said had been reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!!
She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes !
She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So . . . . here I am !
Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Shit Ron, how long you been here? How did you talk your missus into letting you go ?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who ?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie. She said had been reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!!
She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes !
She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So . . . . here I am !
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#1386
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Posted 13 November 2012 - 06:45 PM
The gynecologist and the biro joke......................
#1388
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:48 PM
"coor! look at the arse on that"!! - you can just imagine the dawg thinking! 
lol
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All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1389
stanmarsh14
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Sado-masochist
Posted 04 December 2012 - 12:29 PM
The only reason Kate Middleton's pregnant is she doesn't have tits worth finishing on
"Frankie Boyle"
#1390
stanmarsh14
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Sado-masochist
Posted 04 December 2012 - 12:34 PM
I have no need for pick-up lines, as they don't work with corpses 
There once was a young man named Dave,
who kept a dead whore in a cave,
"yeah, she smells just like shit, and has only one tit, but think of the money I'll save!"
#1391
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 18 December 2012 - 12:29 PM
"You are what I eat"!
...said the Tiger in Zebra's clothing!
...said the Tiger in Zebra's clothing!
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All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1392
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 23 December 2012 - 08:57 AM
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1393
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:13 AM
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1395
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 13 January 2013 - 12:57 PM
Liverpool fans make excuses ahead of playing Manchester United saying, "We'll lose, Howard Webb is referee."
You'd lose if Kenny Dalglish was referee.
I missed that diving competition show last night. Luckily there's a repeat being shown on Sky Sports today.
I think Luis Suarez or Ashley Young will win it.
I've just started an engraving course.
There's loads to learn though & so far we've hardly scratched the surface!
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#1396
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 14 January 2013 - 12:49 PM
I think this must be in a 'Madam's' Bar!!!
image.jpg 42.11KB
1 downloads
I wonder what the price list is like?
image.jpg 42.11KB
1 downloadsI wonder what the price list is like?
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1397
RB
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PISH Artist
Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:28 PM
A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little
action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks
to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda
abruptly leaves.
The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says.
"For what?"
The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute."
The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money."
The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda -- look it up."
She is about to protest when the bear hands her the dictionary.
The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary. It says, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves."
- Daryl likes this
Cyberpunk:- alienated loner who lives on the edge of society in generally dystopic future where daily life is impacted by rapid technological change, an ubiquitous datasphere of computerized information, and invasive modification of the human body.....Hmmmmm
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
#1398
stanmarsh14
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Sado-masochist
Posted 01 February 2013 - 08:39 PM
Reward offered for the castration of Justin Bieber
http://www.cnn.co.uk...plot/index.html
I would have castrated the c*** for 1/2 the price, even free at a push..... Just need to find his spuds first
#1399
ady
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The furniture
Posted 09 February 2013 - 07:26 PM
'Tis an old One as I bet we have been polishing horse for donkeys years.
Hmmm Donkey, not tried that yet!
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#1400
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 09 February 2013 - 08:27 PM
'Tis an old One as I bet we have been polishing horse for donkeys years.
Hmmm Donkey, not tried that yet!
I would sooner eat ass… I’ll get me coat! 
Edited by Ady lol, I decided to edit rather than like as that DID make me smile mate haha
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
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