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Old joke (it made me giggle)


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#1401 Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:11 PM

Findus Lasagne 10-1 at Newmarket.



#1402 stanmarsh14

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:44 PM

My new girlfriend seeing my cock for the first time said, "It's like a Findus Lasagne!"

"You mean I'm hung like a horse?" I smiled.

"No, it's covered in cheese."



#1403 bri365

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Posted 10 February 2013 - 12:19 AM

Asda have found wheelchair parts in their own brand vegetable soup.


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#1404 stanmarsh14

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Posted 12 March 2013 - 12:42 AM

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I cant jelly my cock down her throat ;)

#1405 raverpat

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Posted 21 March 2013 - 07:54 PM

Stephen Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years.

His glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up.


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#1406 vectra666

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 11:22 AM

Fancy going out this friday to charity disco in aid of women born with no legs. The place should be crawling with fanny.
The more I do today, The less I do tomorrow.
Fme is alive and screaming into the 21st century!
Enjoy FME and Happy Gaming!!!!

#1407 Daryl

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 08:56 PM

Well that's the last time I ask someone with Tourette's if they had a nice time travelling around in it...

...you should've heard the abuse I got!! ;)
All The Best

Daryl
 
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->   :computer:
 

My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
 
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease  In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
 
I can be found at:
 
My new blog-site...
 
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
 
=======================================================

 
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at  ---> Daryl on... Facebook.png
 
=======================================================
 


speed

#1408 Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 09:54 PM

Many many years ago a friend of mine at school had this problem. At the time we didn't think it was a medical condition, we bloody thought it was brilliant. Good on yer Frankie. You C**t. LOL!!!!!!

PS. Bum, tit, willy.


Edited by ricardo de ponsa, 10 April 2013 - 09:26 PM.


#1409 Daryl

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Posted 15 April 2013 - 10:01 AM

John has been married to Lorraine for a long time, when in a moment of madness, he cheats on Lorraine with a young whippersnap of a girl called Claire-Lee.

 

A few months into the affair, John's excuses to Lorraine when he isn't coming home begin to wear thin, and after hiring a private investigator, finds out he has been having an affair with Claire-Lee… this is too much for her, and decides to divorce John for his infidelity.

 

John, finally free of the deception on his ex-wife, is full of happiness now he is free to live with his lover, and is overheard leaving the divorce courts singing:

 

:note: "I can see Claire-Lee now Lorraine has gone"!!   :note:

 

:p


All The Best

Daryl
 
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->   :computer:
 

My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
 
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease  In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
 
I can be found at:
 
My new blog-site...
 
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
 
=======================================================

 
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at  ---> Daryl on... Facebook.png
 
=======================================================
 


speed

#1410 jim2311

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Posted 16 April 2013 - 01:28 AM

I shook my head in dispair.

Still, I'll probably tell it down the club.



#1411 Daryl

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Posted 16 April 2013 - 06:43 AM

I shook my head in dispair.
Still, I'll probably tell it down the club.


It's the way I tell 'em... ;)
All The Best

Daryl
 
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->   :computer:
 

My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
 
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease  In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
 
I can be found at:
 
My new blog-site...
 
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
 
=======================================================

 
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at  ---> Daryl on... Facebook.png
 
=======================================================
 


speed

#1412 Daryl

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Posted 28 April 2013 - 01:17 PM

Well, I got mugged going to the GP the other day - they took everything - even my urine sample bottle...

...now that is taking the piss!! :p


All The Best

Daryl
 
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->   :computer:
 

My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
 
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease  In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
 
I can be found at:
 
My new blog-site...
 
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
 
=======================================================

 
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at  ---> Daryl on... Facebook.png
 
=======================================================
 


speed

#1413 Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*

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Posted 28 April 2013 - 02:04 PM

Well, I got mugged going to the GP the other day - they took everything - even my urine sample bottle...

...now that is taking the piss!! :p

Interesting Daryl,

       I was at the GP the other week for a blood test. I was a bit nervous, needles and blood you know. I walked in the surgery, the nurse was there and noticing I was anxious said ;-

'Don't worry Mr De Ponsa, it's only a small prick'

Bit harsh I thought!!!!! :(



#1414 Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*

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Posted 30 April 2013 - 05:11 PM

If Only :)



#1415 Daryl

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 03:04 PM

There's no excuses now for you ladies... ;)

Attached File  image.jpg   116.08KB   11 downloads
All The Best

Daryl
 
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->   :computer:
 

My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
 
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease  In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
 
I can be found at:
 
My new blog-site...
 
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
 
=======================================================

 
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at  ---> Daryl on... Facebook.png
 
=======================================================
 


speed

#1416 mc_christopher

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Posted 17 May 2013 - 04:18 PM

A tramp sees a woman about to jump off a bridge to kill herself. He asks 'seeing as you're going to kill yourself, will you have sex with me first?'
'No!' replies to woman, 'leave me alone you smelly hobo!'
'Okay,' says the tramp 'I'll just go and wait at the bottom.'



#1417 bri365

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 12:06 AM

My wife caught me in the garden today trying to stick a tiny blond wig and a guitar on a wasp.

"Stop" she cried "you'll make him Sting".


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#1418 Daryl

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 12:33 AM

An Islamic girls class reunion...

Attached File  image.jpg   122.77KB   9 downloads

...spotted anyone you know!

I mean - why bother and that isn't racist either! lol
All The Best

Daryl
 
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->   :computer:
 

My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
 
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease  In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
 
I can be found at:
 
My new blog-site...
 
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
 
=======================================================

 
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at  ---> Daryl on... Facebook.png
 
=======================================================
 


speed

#1419 jim2311

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 04:37 PM

Some folk have no sense of humour.

I showed the school picture to the wife and she said "That been photoshopped...they didn't have cameras back in 632 AD, plus Islams wouldn't use a Christian calendar notation"

 

I replied "I would never have thought of that...MRS COLUMBO"

 

I then remembered that she is not too keen on sarcasm either, as I felt her elbow hit me forceably in the ribs.



#1420 bri365

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 08:46 PM

What do you get if you inject antifreeze into oranges?

Sacked from Asda.

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