my pet hamster Elvis died this morning...
he was caught in a trap.
2120 replies to this topic
#1422
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 04 June 2013 - 09:12 AM
I nearly got ran over by a car yesterday by a driver I swear was Elvis...
Now - I'm All Shook Up...
...I'll get me coat!
Now - I'm All Shook Up...
...I'll get me coat!
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1423
Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*
Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*
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Posted 04 June 2013 - 10:08 AM
I received this phone call the other day, it said........
"Congratulations! You have won £250 of Shopping Vouchers, or a night at an Elvis Presley tribute act.
To claim your prize. Press 1 for the Money, 2 for the Show."
- Daryl likes this
#1425
bri365
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- 724 posts
Master Joker
Posted 09 June 2013 - 08:30 PM
Nelson Mandela & Prince Philip in hospital?
Add a camera and you've got The Bucket List part 2
I got a note through the door announcing a meeting to discuss the recent burglaries in the neighbourhood. A meeting where all the residents will be at one time. Very clever, burglars. Very clever.
Saw a midget carrying a TV to his car earlier.
"Hey mate, want a lift with that Plasma?" I asked.
"f*** off!" He yelled. "It's an iPad!"
- Daryl likes this
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#1426
Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*
Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*
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Posted 09 June 2013 - 08:37 PM
When I got married, the Father-In-Law promised me, a 25 acre field and a cow. I'm still waiting for the land!!!!!
Edited by ricardo de ponsa, 10 June 2013 - 07:23 AM.
#1427
Daryl
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Posted 09 June 2013 - 08:39 PM
pmsl at the iPad mate... 
I've had to put it on Facebook!
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1428
bri365
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Master Joker
Posted 09 June 2013 - 10:28 PM
I heard that Katie Price has been rogerd more times than a police radio.
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#1430
Daryl
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- Inactive Users
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 11 June 2013 - 09:57 PM
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1431
bri365
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- 724 posts
Master Joker
Posted 21 June 2013 - 01:17 AM
came home from work and found some bloke shagging the missus, I grabbed him and marched him down the shed. Once in the shed I made him put his dick in the vice which I tightened and then smashed the handle off. I took a saw down from the wall. "you're not going to cut my cock of are you" he asked,
"No" I replied, "I'm setting light to the shed, your cutting your cock off"!!!!!!!!!!!
- Daryl likes this
Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.
#1432
Daryl
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- Inactive Users
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 21 June 2013 - 12:32 PM
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1433
Daryl
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- Inactive Users
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- 2671 posts
Forget it... I do!
Posted 21 June 2013 - 07:49 PM
After visiting a farm, a schoolteacher asks her pupils what sounds they heard and which animal made them whilst they were there. She asked Billy what sound he heard, and he replied "Moo - and it came from the cows miss"
She then asked Milly, who replied with "baa - and that came from the sheep"
...and then she asked little Paddy - and he said:
"Get off that f*****g tractor - and that came from the farmer"!!
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1434
Daryl
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- Inactive Users
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- 2671 posts
Forget it... I do!
Posted 23 June 2013 - 08:50 PM
A Scottish woman walked into her bedroom and caught her husband $&%#ing into his wellie...
"Och Jock" she yelled - "you dirty barsted... stop f***in' aboot"!! 
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1436
Daryl
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- Inactive Users
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 24 June 2013 - 06:43 PM
I wouldn't fancy doing multi-finger gestures with one of those mate 
- bri365 likes this
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1437
Daryl
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- Inactive Users
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- 2671 posts
Forget it... I do!
Posted 26 June 2013 - 11:33 PM
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1438
Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*
Guest_ricardo de ponsa_*
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Posted 27 June 2013 - 07:02 PM
Here is a 'Nonce' Algorithm :-
#1439
Daryl
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Forget it... I do!
Posted 27 June 2013 - 09:07 PM
I have a schizophrenic friend...
...the other day he knocked on his front door, walked around to his back and went in and answered the knock at the front door...
He doesn't know what he's letting himself in for...
...the other day he knocked on his front door, walked around to his back and went in and answered the knock at the front door...
He doesn't know what he's letting himself in for...
All The Best
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
Daryl
My blogsite is here: click the icon --->
My name is Daryl, I was born in 1965 and have been into FME since 2002!
On 23 June 2011, I was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease In November 2012, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and Parkinsonian Syndrome too.
I can be found at:
My new blog-site...
...or at Facebook here: --> https://www.facebook.com/daryl.lees
=======================================================
Visit my website on the icon above for my WebBlog, or pop over and see me on the social media at --->
=======================================================
#1440
mazooma
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- 915 posts
I'm not dead yet
Posted 29 June 2013 - 05:58 PM
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because the always take things literally.
- Daryl likes this
Where you came from, is gone.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
Where you thought you were going, was never there.
And where you're at right now, aint no good, unless you can get away from it.
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