2120 replies to this topic

[bri365]

200 schoolgirls kidnapped in Nigeria?

Where have the McCanns been on holiday this year????????

[Geddy]

I went to the world Strawberry Picking Championships today..... a woman with no legs won... jammy cunt!

[bri365]

I went to the world Strawberry Picking Championships today..... a woman with no legs won... jammy cunt!

I posted this one on 8th Jan 2012. Stop nicking my jokes.........lol

[Geddy]

I posted this one on 8th Jan 2012. Stop nicking my jokes.........lol

 

I posted in IRC over 12 years ago and it's an FME ritual it gets posted somewhere on the 1st June so stop pinching my jokes eh!!!

[bri365]

 

I posted in IRC over 12 years ago and it's an FME ritual it gets posted somewhere on the 1st June so stop pinching my jokes eh!!!

It was meant as a laugh, don't take it too seriously.

[Geddy]

I'm deadly serious....... Stanmarsh already pinched it off me once yesterday....... arghghghghgghghghghghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[bri365]

What's the difference between a hairdresser and a barber? about £40

[bri365]

Anyone know the difference between Mark Knopfler and Cliff Richard????

One is in Dire Straits and the other is in deep shit.

[dachshund]

 IMG_44014139364203.jpeg   40.25KB   1 downloads

[stanmarsh14]

How does a gay guy fake an orgasm?

 

Spits on his partners back

[stanmarsh14]

I was driving on the motorway last week when I noticed a sign that said "Turn off - 500 metres".

Sure enough, 500 metres later, on the side of the road was my Granny with no knickers, lifting up her dress.

[stanmarsh14]

There's nothing more awkward than beating your family on a Wii game that requires the remote to be vigorously jerked back and forth, only for your mother to ask you "Have you been practising?"

[stanmarsh14]

My wife came home with a vibrator last night and started waving it about and screamed, "I don't need you now! I don't need you now!"

Guess who had to put the batteries in?

 

[bri365]

For years now I have been making love to the wife with the lights off and have been substituting my real dick for a big rubber one. Well last night my wife in the throws of passion, my wife pulled the light cord above the bed.

"Are you going to explain what that is" she asked.

"yes dear" I replied, "just as soon as you tell me where our 3 kids came from"!!!!!

[bri365]

Every major supermarket in Britain now has a Polish section.

It's usually called a Staff Room.

[stanmarsh14]

I just want to thank the girl who ran with me for the last few miles of the local marathon run yesterday, not wearing a sports bra.

Your lack of support got me through.

[stanmarsh14]

Let's not be too serious its nearly Christmas.

I've treated myself to a Jehovah Witness advent calender -

it's giving me a lot of pleasure

Every day I open a door and tell it to " f*** Off"

[bri365]

We were so poor when I was growing up that if you didn't wake up on Christmas day with an erection, then you had feck all to play with on Christmas day.

[bri365]

Here's one for Daryl as I know he still lurks in the darkness somewhere:-

 

Got a Dementia advent calendar, every door has a 1 on it and after 22 days I still haven't found the chocolates.