110 replies to this topic

[mrmystery83]

sorry mrmystery83 sod the 18 rule no oap`s sorry grans and daddys on this when i have old people telling me what to do i bite my toung take a very deep deep gup of air count to 10 and very nicely ask what do you do for a living blar blar blar well i work with these all day thank you

You can't ban them who would play the bar x's? lol They stay away from me i must look like a scary dude lol they never really mither many people down our arcade which is lucky i suppose. But know all's come in all ages, shapes and sizes i guess. You'd never really get rid of them all no matter who you banned.

[mocochoco]

I might buy a stun gun. That might keep em away lolol

I like your thinking mate

[Nudgeman]

If they ask you for £2 for a 'tinny' ask for £10 for the 'fruity'. Then when they don't pay up - who is the tight c**t now?
If they give you advice tell them you're a super bloopin' streakin' fruityblooper with all the bloops and the bleeps up your sleeve. They respect that, yes, you can get *respect* from chavs you just have to befuddle them with random lingo and suddenly all their 'geezer' 'safe' 'innit' lingo is lost in a mysterious maze of 'bloops' 'bleeps' and 'blippetybangs!'
Sometimes I do come home with my tongue in shreds though - they can be annoying, it's part and parcel of the job and you need to be alert to it. If you're not, you'll just want to slap the little f****rs (nice censoring - I've been censored - you're getting right up my bugle)
I learned all the hustles, bustles, squiggles and rustles the hard way. Yes we've all been for a ride on the big green spaceship, we've all literally given our hard earned to some 'chavvy' stranger.
You just need the zen of fruit playing on your side. Humour and intellect will win the day. Sour grapes and vengeance will land you in trouble.
I don't like pepperonii on my pizza, but when my mates order the big meat feast, I find myself peeling off the 'orrible spotty gristly stuff from my fatty, salty indulgence.
Ditto fruit machines, sometimes my brain struggles to think down to the level of some 10 year old f*uctard cracktard dolespongetard retard tardface, but you have to listen to the story of 'an yeah safe man f***in' like yeah safe me mate got twenty squillion f*** yeah billion repeaters of that safe innit geezer bro lend us a quid safe wot chocolate digestives cost £4.56 FROM THW wELCOME gIFT gAME SHOP WOT BRUV LEND US A TINNY INNint wot in caps now bloop'

SURReptiously (spelling?) collect your £75 and nod and wink and make incoherent niceties before exiting stage left (or right)_

[mrmystery83]

They should be banned if they ain't spending anything no matter where they are. They're serving no useful purpose to the management or anyone else. All they are doing is potentially stopping decent people with half a brain from spending their money. A story that made me chuckle in the paper the other day was that some places are starting to play 'uncool' music to stop no marks hanging round. They've had some success with it. Gotta try anything. Especially since them high pitch noise wotsits that people used to put up have been banned. The only people who moaned are the people that shouldn't be there in the first place and do gooders. Tests have shown they cause no damage. Maybe you would be able to hear them over the machines if they were tuned to the right frequency.

[caseh]

Heh I saw this topic and had to post!

In my younger days when I was a muppet on gambing machines I used to dread the approach of some twat coming over and telling you how to play the machine. OK fair enough, they may know how to play the machine better than you in some instances but if you really wanted the help that badly you would ask for it.

Anyways, I now work in an arcade part-time while I study at uni and actually ban people who harass holiday makers or people who are minding their own business and are just there to enjoy themselves.

I now play gamblers quite a bit and tend to do OK, if someone makes a suggestion as to how I should play I will take it on board. If they try to tell me how to play they get a swift "f*ck off".

Watch out for "snipers" heheh, I do this myself if someone has clearly left the machine for good and has no intention of coming back to it. Snipers are easy to identify, they seem just as interested in your game as their own. Love it or hate it, its how to make money of gamblers.

[mrmystery83]

Heh I saw this topic and had to post!

In my younger days when I was a muppet on gambing machines I used to dread the approach of some twat coming over and telling you how to play the machine. OK fair enough, they may know how to play the machine better than you in some instances but if you really wanted the help that badly you would ask for it.

Anyways, I now work in an arcade part-time while I study at uni and actually ban people who harass holiday makers or people who are minding their own business and are just there to enjoy themselves.

I now play gamblers quite a bit and tend to do OK, if someone makes a suggestion as to how I should play I will take it on board. If they try to tell me how to play they get a swift "f*ck off".

Watch out for "snipers" heheh, I do this myself if someone has clearly left the machine for good and has no intention of coming back to it. Snipers are easy to identify, they seem just as interested in your game as their own. Love it or hate it, its how to make money of gamblers.

Yeah snipers or the dreaded shark attack arrrrrggghh lol good onya about getting rid of the riff raff. Just a shame more places don't do that.

[Nudgeman]

Snipers yeah.....hehe

They seem far **more** interested in your machine then their own! It's crazy. I think if this machine is **so** interesting, why didn't you play it in the first place. These guys are beyond infuriating. I'm surprised my body hasn't fried to a crisp the amount of times my blood boils over when these hoody bumfluff chav$&%#s non too subtly hawk your machine. It's at the most stupid times. When you have a nudge stoppa and it's two nudges off jackpot and you just **know** it's going to give one nudge. Yet even if you leave it as you know they're watching and want to see what happens, they carry on watching. Evenetually it times out, and the sad stupid cluckers feel smug that it's only one nudge. Occassionally they'll tell you..."you needed two nudges there geez". GRRRRRRRRRR! PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFT! SSSSSSHHHHHHHUUUP! $&%#! Like I didn't know. <>

100 degrees and rising - does blood boil at 100 degrees? I guess as it's mostly water, it pretty much would do. Perhaps the viscous nature of the plasma which includes various electrolytes and a host of leukocyte and erythrocyte based carriers, not to mention the anti-coagulation cascade with its different factors such as pro-thrombin and.....sorry off track....

You can have fun and games with snipers. Try making lots of silly noises next time they snipe. Pretend to be a monkey every time they look. Look at **their** machine. Give them advice. Spin around five times. Go Bloop. Eat a cheeseburger. Chill out. Sit down. Stand up. Clap your hands. And sleep.

[Gazeyre1966]

Another classic from the man who knows nudges. Keep 'em comin'. You've made my working day.

[LiamsLocks]

Snipers yeah.....hehe

They seem far **more** interested in your machine then their own! It's crazy. I think if this machine is **so** interesting, why didn't you play it in the first place. These guys are beyond infuriating. I'm surprised my body hasn't fried to a crisp the amount of times my blood boils over when these hoody bumfluff chav$&%#s non too subtly hawk your machine. It's at the most stupid times. When you have a nudge stoppa and it's two nudges off jackpot and you just **know** it's going to give one nudge. Yet even if you leave it as you know they're watching and want to see what happens, they carry on watching. Evenetually it times out, and the sad stupid cluckers feel smug that it's only one nudge. Occassionally they'll tell you..."you needed two nudges there geez". GRRRRRRRRRR! PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFT! SSSSSSHHHHHHHUUUP! $&%#! Like I didn't know. <>

100 degrees and rising - does blood boil at 100 degrees? I guess as it's mostly water, it pretty much would do. Perhaps the viscous nature of the plasma which includes various electrolytes and a host of leukocyte and erythrocyte based carriers, not to mention the anti-coagulation cascade with its different factors such as pro-thrombin and.....sorry off track....

You can have fun and games with snipers. Try making lots of silly noises next time they snipe. Pretend to be a monkey every time they look. Look at **their** machine. Give them advice. Spin around five times. Go Bloop. Eat a cheeseburger. Chill out. Sit down. Stand up. Clap your hands. And sleep.

Haha well funny mate.

Was speaking to a pal of mine who went down to the seaside with his wife and bairns at the weekend and he told me that he got shot out of the 18+ area in one arcade because he was letting his 5 year old press the buttons for him to keep him entertained while my mate spent a quick tenner. I was pure shocked; they'd throw a genuine hard-working bloke out for that, while they let the shitehawk chavs mope around all day scaring customers away. Mad.

[big_sah]

I hate it when these bas*ards watch my game more than their own. I HATE it when they jump in when you go for change, FUC*RS!!! I tend to walk up to them and tell them I won the jackpot and it streaked three times.

I was in Blackpool last week and I lost count of the amount of Chavs that TRIED to give me advice (For a fee). One little prick even held the hinted reel on the machine and asked for 60P out of the 1.60 for doing so. I said "How about no!!" Did he really think I was stupid enough not to realise the 2nd reel flashing and moving!! One kid even said "You've run out of money haven't you?!" I explained that being as I started with a tenner and still have my £25 XXX win, I suppose not!

I played in an arcade in Hemsby and there were eight machines with lamps not working. One even had no nudge bulbs working, great for stoppa nudge and skill nudge!!

If you come across chavs try to ignore them, or just simply move to a different arcade (if there are any nearby). I have even told a chav I would give a tenner to go away, when he promised to go away I gave him ten pence and told him to F*ck off.

My advice is to wait till the chav walks out and give em a slap when no one is looking LOL.

We could always set up an anti chav campaign. BAN THE CHAVS, BAN THE RETARDS!!

[Jimbob219]

Haha well funny mate.

Was speaking to a pal of mine who went down to the seaside with his wife and bairns at the weekend and he told me that he got shot out of the 18+ area in one arcade because he was letting his 5 year old press the buttons for him to keep him entertained while my mate spent a quick tenner. I was pure shocked; they'd throw a genuine hard-working bloke out for that, while they let the shitehawk chavs mope around all day scaring customers away. Mad.

Lol, that was pretty harsh.

On my holidays, there is an arcade there (not a big one, £5 and £8 jp's and 5p/10p ago lol). Don't mean to boast but I am "good" on them, occasionly i get the odd £30 in the bank, when that happens you always get the odd person who will go "WOW how did you do that!".

Then they take the piss and go "Teach me" or a funny one is "If I give you a pound will you win me £30?"

Lol, shows they don't knwo fruit machines.

[CrAzYbAr]

Time to bring this up again, why? Because I have been officialy and unceremoniously chavved!

I was playnig an Extreme, going for setting up for the bonus after the board. I took my nudges, and I saw that the reels were in the right position. Just when I would cancel them some scummy lad who was at the fussball table WITH HIS PARENTS waltzed over, hit start, and walked away.
This left me with now newly shuffled reels with nothing to make out of them. I could swear if he had hit start at a different time and landed me on the lose then he would pay up!

Such f*****g belief that even with his parents, or hapless providers so I call this breed, who can't even tell a kid to leave off other people, this still goes on.

Anyone else been chavved at the arcade recently?

[spa]

I go into 'speed mode' when someone trys to help. Hold th... do thi.... ohh yo..... urr.......

[Chris_010292]

Time to bring this up again, why? Because I have been officialy and unceremoniously chavved!

I was playnig an Extreme, going for setting up for the bonus after the board. I took my nudges, and I saw that the reels were in the right position. Just when I would cancel them some scummy lad who was at the fussball table WITH HIS PARENTS waltzed over, hit start, and walked away.
This left me with now newly shuffled reels with nothing to make out of them. I could swear if he had hit start at a different time and landed me on the lose then he would pay up!

Such f*****g belief that even with his parents, or hapless providers so I call this breed, who can't even tell a kid to leave off other people, this still goes on.

Anyone else been chavved at the arcade recently?

I've only been playing Fruits in Yarmouth and Hemsby recently and I have to say that there was not one chav in the Arcade, I love yarmouth and Hemsby, but the worst place is the bowling alley at bexleyheath, full of chavs who always beg you to play machines which you have just won a bit out of, or know that the machine is not going to pay out, and if you don't play the machines their like "f*** off, why the f*** are you here"? and i'm like "well this is a bowling alley and ive just finished bowling and waiting for food from the bar etc"

[£6 In Tokens]

but the worst place is the bowling alley at bexleyheath, full of chavs who always beg you to play machines which you have just won a bit out of, or know that the machine is not going to pay out, and if you don't play the machines their like "f*** off, why the f*** are you here"? and i'm like "well this is a bowling alley and ive just finished bowling and waiting for food from the bar etc"

Chris - Psml

Chav "Why you here in the bowling alley"
MiniMoto "To bowl, why else would I be here"
Chav "Na mate, f*** off if your not playing the fruit machines"

Class

:devil:

[todd1970]

They piss me off big time..theres about 9 of em round the 1 machine.."thinking thier pro's" ..then when you go play a machine they all hover round about you.

Bit of a dilema your faced with..do i stick £10-£20 in this machine..win eff all then walk away..knowing fine well they are gonna jump on straight after you..and win...or do you spend £30-£40 to get a £20 streak out of it..just to piss them right off.

[poopoo77]

so what about the other way round ? i get old men sniffing around me .

[todd1970]

Hey...cmon..im only 36 ye know :tongue:

[GaryChandler]

if someone tried telling me what to do on a fruit machine or tried pressing my buttons i would tell him to f*** right off i wouldnt care how big he was