17 replies to this topic

[maccy]

lets hear your worst jokes. here is a couple to start with

Q: how do you get a granny to shout BOLLOCKS?

A: get another to shout bingo



Q: why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist?

A: because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

ok i know they are bad so beat them if you can!!!!!! lol

[CrAzYbAr]

Heres a badone...Truly the worst joke about.

What noise does a rat make when knocking on a door?

RAT-a-tat-tat

What do you call someone in a tin of Heinz?

Me. Bean


As ypou see I'm the best at BAAAAAAD jokes...See if you got any worse.

[Jimmy_mac]

two fish in a tank, one says to the other "can you drive this thing?"

Two birds on a perch, one says to the other "can you smell fish?"

Two cannibals eating a clown, one says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"

[ady]

two fish in a tank, one says to the other "can you drive this thing?

Taking of Fish Jim,

I bought a couple of Goldfish, I decided to call 1 ... One and the other Two ...


If One die's I stil have Two!

[flyer]

two balls in a pub one ball says to the other ball your round

[djmat56]

Two nuns in the bath. First nun says "Where's the soap?"

Second nun says "Yes it does, doesn't it"

[mrgspot]

Two norwegians walking down the road, one says to the other "Hey Murphy"

Got three points from a copper today, "why you driving round the roundabout 16 times?" I said the indicator was stuck

This one youll all like, its not exactly bad but i cant be arsed to find the other thread.

Bin Laden Sends George Bush a coded text message to let him know hes still alive..
370HSSV 0773H

Bush is baffled, his aides and even the FBI cant decipher it. They ask MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 replies. "Tell the president he is holding the phone upside down.

[carlosgee]

man goes to docs " doctor my penis is orange"Doctor: "hmm, do you smoke or drink?
"why, no i dont".
"Well what do you normally do?"
"well after work i just go home, watch some porn with a bag of wotsits".
................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Thought of the day: Is a Happly Slapper a footballers wife with a gold card?
...........................................................................................................
What has 100 legs and no teeth? The first 3 rows of a Daniel o Donnell Concert

[Nudgeman]

A man walked into a bar.

Ouch.



On topic.

Where do cows play fruit machines?

An Amooooosement arcade of course.

[ady]

If God wanted us to go METRIC Jesus would've had 10 disciples not 12.


Blimey...................the poopy Pic, Folding Cert and Macmillan link I must look well sad lol

[CrAzYbAr]

Poopy pic???
Ady......You fallen for one of the oldest tricks I know!
Anyways...On with the joke

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[undertaker]

Whats the hardest part of a sex change ???....
Making the cheese taste like tuna yewwwww

[Gazeyre1966]

What goes "99 Thump....99 Thump....99 Thump"?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

[CrAzYbAr]

What goes "99 Thump....99 Thump....99 Thump"?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

Or perhaps someone dropping ice creams

[maccy]

2 Old Gals


Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

[ady]

PMFSL Rich.........


Like it fella,

You gotta tell that tomorrow with the lad's mate........

And good to see you back too.

[LeeG]

Maccy, these are supposed to be bad jokes;

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.

Really Bad Jokes: Random Joke

[todd1970]

When is the best time of day to visit the dentist ?
Tooth-Hurty