4 replies to this topic

[maccy]

NO SEX TONIGHT
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.


FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.


Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."


I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"


So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?"


Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.


The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from
all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally
said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."


Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"


I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[JoeyNRG]

Classic! Im guna try that with my missus

[DaemonX]

Fantastic

[todd1970]

Aye..And nae Bj's as well..aparently I need to wait till September till i get my next one..Why you ask ?? Birthday 10/09/70

[Bandits]

LMFAO,classic!