maccy

Turn yourself into a simpson at:

Simpsonize Me

if its not to bad post it so we can all have a laugh.

Hi all, has anyone got sky HD would like to know how good the picture is and is the sound any better. also what is the difference between a hd ready tv and a 1080 hd tv. thanks richard

there i was with adydb on the picket line when Freddie Cruger came to support us. many car drivers looked twice !!!!!

NO SEX TONIGHT
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.


FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.


Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."


I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"


So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?"


Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.


The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from
all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally
said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."


Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"


I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate

point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a

password. Something he could remember easily and will use

each time he has to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and

figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's

attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it

plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in....



P...


E...


N...


I...


S...



His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:







*** PASSWORD REJECTED .... NOT LONG ENOUGH ***